So what I have come to realise is Facebook (FB) sucks. Ok ok it took me long enough maybe 10 years and I have thought it sucked plenty of times but this time I am doing something about those feelings.
It is such a time waster it steals our time away from our children, loved ones and friends, and from doing other things in life.
I read somewhere we all know that social media is an unnatural way of communicating with people, but we (many of us) but I’m talking about me right now – are addicted to it.
It becomes such a habit, and a bizzare one, a compulsive behaviour when you have a spare few mins at the bus stop, at a friends in a quiet moment of conversation, at dinner times, when your in the kitchen pottering around making dinner, when your standing around waiting to pick up your kids, during a quiet moment at work, killing time waiting for a doctor to call you in for an appt, whilst your watching the television, and a million other times each day its so easy to just open the app and scroll through your news feed, like a few photos along the way or join in on a random conversation, or avoid a random conversation as often the case may be.
In reality how many of the people on our friends list are real friends? What is a real friend? To me it is someone I socialise with, someone I email, text or ring when I want to chat to them, or see them, or have something funny to tell them, or when I need cheering up and when something is happening in my life that they would want to know about. People who are genuinely interested in my life, and I theirs. People I love and care about, people I enjoy spending time with. People who if you walk past them in the street stop and say hi (which some of my FB friends actually don’t).
So I have a large percentage of friends on FB that I don’t socialise with nor want to, people from my past (they are there for a reason), most people from high school (well except those few I’m still friends with for real), friends from old sport groups, friends of friends who I barely know, and other friends from other areas in life – I’m not dumb I know the majority of these are not real friends. Some of them don’t even like me very much or at all and that is okay. So why am I friends with them? So why do I, no sorry – why did I give a shit what these people do every day and take interest in their posts and photos, and after some thinking the answer was after giving it some thought is ‘I don’t’! It was really just a way to pass the time.
So I’ve come to the realisation that I want to use my limited ‘time’ each day, doing things that matter in my every day life, things that make me happier than scrolling FB. Chatting to my kids, talking to my husband, reading books, cooking, baking and plenty more things!
I knew though that the breaking the habit of in those spare moments in my day that not automatically going to the app would be hard, it did take a conscious effort to not go to the app which was just a reflex action really by my brain, in those moments I’d usually be going on it, but giving it a conscious thought each time I had a moment of “no your not going on FB anymore” it became suprisingly easier each day, and damn it felt good.
I took photos of my kids, went on a hike, went to a friends for lunch, set up a fish tank and bought some cute fish plus more things over the week – without posting (like I usually would on FB) all those fun things I was doing with my life, and it was preserving my privacy and making those moments mean more to all involved.
Its been a week now with no FB, and I feel so much better for it too, my mind is clearer. I’ve had more time to sit and relax and hang out with kids, talk to my husband, read my book, talk to my friends in person, email some friends and I get more done around the house.
We went to a friends for lunch on the weekend and the only time I touched my phone was to show them a photo of our new fish. Wow they didn’t have to see it on FB first. Our conversations, our reactions were present and real, not fake because the news had already been on FB.
Seeing friends, and having conversations will be more fun, and bring back the excitement of learning things about each other face to face not through each others FB posts.
I am at the stage I wonder why I even take my phone with me every day, and the only reason I take it with me is literally because its a phone, and I might need to call someone, or the school or scouts might call me regarding the kids. My husband will be happy I’ll actually answer any calls he makes to me now. My phone is not a play thing, it’s not a tool for browsing FB. It can stay buried in the bottom of my bag until it rings now.
Its been just over a week now and I deleted the app and also messenger from my phone, so if anyone wants to chat to me they will have to email, ring or pay me a visit.
My FB account can sit stagnant with no activity now – whilst I go about my daily life happier with more time to spend doing things that make me happier and with people I actually consider and am lucky enough to call friends.
I should have more time to blog now or work on a novel. LOL.